I am issuing my first infrequent posting apology

I would like to start off by apologizing for the lack of posting that has happened on this blog. I can't even use the excuse that I was doing cool stuff, because not a lot has happened. School ended, summer lacrosse started, I tried (and failed) to find a job, but other than that I have just been watching a lot of Grey's Anatomy.

In terms of study abroad stuff, I recently found out that I got accepted by AFS Germany, which means I can actually go on exchange, which is pretty exciting. I also recieved my departure date. Having an actual day I can circle on my calender and label "Germany" makes this whole thing feel a little more real. I have been dreaming about exchange for so long that it sometimes doesn't feel like something I am actually going to be doing. I leave for gateway orientation in DC on September 6, and then my flight to Germany leaves September 9. It feels simultaneously like too much and too little time. I don't know if I'll have enough time with my friends and family, or to actually finish driving school, but this summer also feels like an unnecessary gap between my old life and my new one. It's hard to make plans with people or hang out when you know that you won't be seeing them in 3 months. I am nervous about how much I am going to miss everyone back home next year, but I am also itching to leave right now. 

Before this summer, I was almost regretting my decision to go on exchange. I was really happy with how everything was going in Baltimore, and I didn't particularly want to leave. My friends were picking their classes for Junior year and talking about next year's prom, and I wanted to be a part of it. I started to think about all the stuff I would be missing next year by going to Germany, and it made me really afraid that I might be making the wrong decision by going. It really helped to talk about it with my other friends who are going on exchange next year, and I realized that everyone feels like that, and that I am not just a crappy exchange student. 

Once this summer started, I really have just wanted to leave as soon as possible. I can't wait for Germany, but it still doesn't feel totally real. I am having trouble preparing for it because I still can't believe it's happening. I am definitely going to start practicing my German more soon though, because I don't want to be mute for the first few months :)

I have my first AFS orientation tomorrow, so I should be going to bed. I will write a post letting you know how that goes!